Dearest Self,
It’s the second day of January, two thousand fifteen.
Your half birthday was a couple of weeks ago, putting you at the ripe young age of twenty five and a half.
I wanted to write a note to you today – at the beginning of a new year – to remind you of a few things…
You’re not at your lowest/ideal weight. You feel curvier, thicker, and not as lean as you’d like to be. Despite breaking up with scale last year, you couldn’t resist weighing yourself on the first of the year. You’re up 3 to 5 pounds from 365 days ago. This irks you. It outright irritates you. But, remember, the scale doesn’t rule you anymore.
Remember, too, that you are the only one that burdens yourself with the added weight. Your friends, your family, your supportive boyfriend, your coworkers, and (gasp!) even your blog readers do not hold the higher number on the scale against you.
You’ve done a pretty bad a** job of keeping up your fitness – sans gym – for over a year and half. You should give yourself two solid high fives for that.
Even through the rough patches of recovering from an injured knee, you persevered through “rehab”, all the while supporting your passion for exercise in creative ways. Twenty five months later and your knee feels 95 percent healed. You ran two races last year, and while you haven’t logged a record number of miles since December 2012, you never gave up on running.
Oh no, I haven’t forgotten about your stomach. I hear you, it is not a happy camper. Believe me, there is not an hour in the day that I don’t think about this with utmost concern. As a college graduate with a degree in Nutrition and a certified Holistic Health Coach, it frustrates me beyond belief that I feel helpless when it comes to healing your gut.
The bloating, the gas, the sharp pains, I feel and listen to it all. Your GI tract is a complicated piece of machinery (give me that!), but I promise I will do anything and everything so that your digestive tract does not dictate your days.
Remember, too, that just like your knee, your body will heal itself when given the chance. “This, too, shall pass.”
Self, remember — aging is inevitable. STOP worry about the future and start focusing on now… all that you have today:
- A secure job
- Zero debt
- Loving parents
- Generous grandparents
- A strong, healthy, able body
- Friends, near + far
- A boyfriend that would do anything for you
- A cheerful apartment
- A constant supply of fresh food
- This five-year-old blog
Self, give yourself a break. You do an excellent job at tuning in, listening to yourself, and taking care of yourself; but, do not let that be an obstacle in observing your surroundings with the present moment at hand.
It’s alright to reminisce on precious childhood memories and set aspirations for the future, but promise that in 2015, you will make a point to focus on each given day. Twenty four hours passes by quickly. Today is the youngest you’ll ever be again.
You have it pretty darn good. Be kind to yourself.
Lovingly,
Hillary
photo credit // Caroline Winn Photography
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Beautiful! I love these personal posts Hillary! Bring more of these back to the blog! XOXOXO
Thanks, Rebecca :)
Kudos to you, Hill. We all need to remind ourselves more often just how blessed we are, and give that awful inner critic a big kick!! Happy 2015! :)
Beautifully written post! I, too, also struggle with serious stomach issues and have for the past 2.5 years. Still on the hunt to find out what’s going on, but slowly getting there. I know how painful, irritating and miserable it can be at times! I hope you are also able to find answers in 2015. xo
I LOVED this post! So beautiful and really genuine. Keep up the hard work girl. You have motivated me to write a similar letter.
Great! Did you, too, share it on your blog?
It’s true. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves that no one else even THINKS about us. So why do we do it? You are fabulous the way you are. And yes, appreciating the now (and our youth) is so important.
I waited far too many years to go back to school and do the thing I thought would be so scary, but the truth is, if I had started in my early 20s, I’d be done with that degree by now and in my career. But instead, I’m going back to school, quit my full time job, and we’re having a baby all at once. Talk about juggling! BUT, I know it will work out one way or another. :)
Good for you, Lauren! What are you studying?
This was a beautiful post! I love how you wrote it to yourself from a few months ago. We change so much, even over a short period of time, that it’s nice to acknowledge small changes.
From a few months ago? I don’t understand…? :)
I love everything about this post. You are an inspiration! This is a talk I have with myself a lot because we need to constantly remind ourselves how much we kick a** and not let the scale or stomach dictate our happiness. I too have stomach issues and in 2014 I felt I took control of it. I still have setbacks, but I now can see how happy I was when I figured out how to control it and it all came down to listening to my body. The mind body connection can be pretty awesome, but takes a lot of work and constant reminding! Thank you for sharing your story, so empowering!
I love this! Positivity is such a game-changer :)
I just found this blog as I am new to all of this. I really liked this post and the style in which it’s written – felt very creative :)